Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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