ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
