Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
there is glitter all over my balls
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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