Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
