I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
