So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
