id be glad to
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
