Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
