Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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