I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
