So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
