Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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