Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
