I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
