It's Friday. Sex?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
