He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
