I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize