HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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