First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
