did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
