I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize