Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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