Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
