it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
