So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
