Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
