if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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