okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
