I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
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Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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