also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
