I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
