It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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