Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
