Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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