my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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