I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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