Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
