Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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