i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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