Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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