i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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