Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
