I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
