Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
