Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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