you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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