this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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