You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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