Dual....:-)
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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