Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
