Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
