i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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