I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
