When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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