I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
