i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize