just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
