I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
