their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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