were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
