Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
