I think my vagina is haunted
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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