and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
