I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
