How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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