What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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