I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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