You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize