similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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