I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
