Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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